Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Valentine's Day: balls, brows and chickens....

A couple of days after Valentine's Day, and I feel I've been remiss for not even mentioning that most special of days here.  Of course, this day has significance in the world of cycling for several reasons, only one of which being the anniverary of Marco Pantani's death.  Aside from that, many think of Valentine's Day merely as one created by the card, candy and flower industries to make money...and that may very well be.  However, who can deny the special feeling one gets when given a Valentine's-themed special message of affection.  Take the tin of candy hearts I received in the mail yesterday from an anonymous reader who has obviously ridden with me at some point:
Reading these messages rang with such truth and clarity that it almost felt like it was summer again and I was at Thursday Night sprints.  Perhaps I'm not alone this Valentine's day in having bad memories conjured up as Portland, Oregon used the occasion to host its "Worst Day of the Year Ride."  As one would expect, photographs of the occasion depict Oregonian cyclists in full cupid and heart-related garb.  And apparently, so blessed is the Portland cycling community that their excrement is without odor such that their port-o-potties can be named "Honey Buckets."
I'm sure my constant ribbing of Portland must smack of envy to some, and if so I apologize. For we in COMO-ville should also feel blessed, which is the exact emotion I experienced while reading about the new Krankcycle fitness machine that was recently added to the local Wilson's Gym.
According to an article in the Columbia Tribune, "....the Krankcycle is designed to combine cardio with upper-body strength training," and thus, "It's an ideal cross-training workout for runners or cyclists who are trying to increase their cardiovascular fitness without overtraining their lower bodies."  The benefits of this machine are apparently multifactorial:
"The face of the Krankcycle flips over, and the saddle seat is removable, so users can add challenge to the their workouts by standing on BOSU trainers or sitting on Swiss balls."

I can't say for sure, but I think the challenge added by this seating arrangement would likely be more stringently felt by the Swiss man whose balls I was sitting on while Krank-cycling.  Especially if they were this Swiss guy's balls.
Curious about the Krankcycle, I checked out their website, and discovered that this machine is made by someone by the name of 'Johnny G'.  Apparently, he has a robot army of incredibly (and irritatingly happy)buff individuals that are so indoctrinated into the Johnny G. mantra of fitness, that each has the company logo branded on their lower abdomen.
Such is the dedication some have for their fitness and sport.  And speaking of dedication, who can doubt professional cyclist Michale Rasmussen's as he has declared he will actually give up his Danish citizenship and become Mexican to allow him to ride in the World Championships in Denmark in 2011 since the Danish Cycling Federation has stated that it will not nominate him to the national team.  Currently riding for Mexican Team Miche, Rasmussen (aka "the Chicken") has publicly stated his disappointment with the low-ranking status of his team, and not just over jealously that his teammate, Edwin Carvajal, is the reigning world champion in the Men's Unibrow.
His simultaneous disapproval of his current contract and eagerness to win the favors of a larger, European squad didn't stop Rasmussen from dropping out of the Tour Mediterranean last week, however, due to the cold weather.  I guess once a chicken, always a chicken.
Pedal on!

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