So it's time to play catch-up. What did I miss?
Well the biggest news from the past couple of weeks has to be about Alberto Contador. Congratulations are in order because he recently got married! Unfortunately, immediately following the ceremony, he was partially blinded in the left eye by a thrown grain of rice, intended for good luck, but resulting in a deep corneal ulceration.
The crowds were scanned for who might have pelted rice directly at his eyes, and one familiar face was actually seen scurrying away on bicycle.
And in some cruel joke, those in attendance of the wedding who learned that the World Anti-Doping Agency has confirmed that it will not fund follow up studies to confirm the presence plasticizers in Contador's blood during the 2010 Tour, (suggesting he may have received a blood transfusion), decided to mock Bertie by wrapping his wedding car in....you guessed it....a never-ending sheet of plastic.
It could have been worse, I suppose. They could have slathered the car in steak sauce instead.
Sources close to the Contadors have reported that he was pretty nervous about his wedding night and sought some advice regarding how to "seal the deal" so to speak from a popular Spanish talk show specializing in sexual therapy.
Alberto was introduced to a puppet called "Mr. Happy" which proceeded to instruct him on the special art of marital consummation.
And apparently, Jens Voigt was pretty concerned that Alberto didn't really understand that the primary purpose of sexual intercourse is to procreate (he and his wife have a sixpack of kids)....so he sent this story as a gentle reminder via his Twitter feed to Bertie and his new wife....